Trinity of Trinities
Tuesday, July 23, 2013. I looked at the time, it was close to 7:00AM, still a bit drowsy with sleep I look outside the window. Thoughts flurried in, "this is going to hurt, or it will be quick, brace yourself."
I face death in the form of the nose of a car just right outside my window. There was no panic, just calm thinking and a rushed feeling of sadness. As I was jolted to the left side of the car I thought of how pathetic it was to go through the accident alone, and that it was only a few days to when I'd get to finally be with someone from 9 years ago. At this moment, I don't know if I just accepted it, or couldn't. I am only saying this, because of how I am assessing that sudden rush of sadness, maybe unknowingly it was me saying, "no, it is not the time yet, damn it"
The car screeched, there was a loud thump, and the car jutted forecefully foreward, I bumped my head on the window and slammed my legs and knees on some other hard part of the car, the flooring, or that middle partition with the handbreak. Then a full stop. I helped myself back to a sitting position, put my hand on my head, checked me hand- no blood, good. Then I tell the driver, "ang sakit naman nun kuya" (that hurt big brother) and then I remained silent, by this time the shock kicked in. There was some bickering in the background that I was not paying attention to, I was looking outside but I wasn't really looking at anything, nor was I even thinking at all, there was nothing. Reality kicked in when the words of the driver were audible and being processed by my shaken brain, "my passenger may not even be able to walk", he said. I looked outside the door that was now wide open, and I lifted my backpack and stepped out of the car. I seemed fine, so then I told the guards that the other driver was at fault and his goddamned car was face to face with me when I last saw it. I pointed to the shattered tail lights of the car.
At this time I was contemplating on whether to join their argument and come up with a new one that would be problematic for them - I need to be taken to a hospital, get my head checked, my ribs checked, whatever else needed to be checked. I pace forward a little and then back, this time the guards ask for my name and the address of my office, I was happy to give it to them and by that time I had decided. The pain was tolerable, I had bumped my had harder than this on hard steel where I thought I saw stars for a moment, and I could actually walk. So, I just left them arguing and walked to the office, what's the point anyway, I have insurance that I could use. And yes, my tolerance for pain is just higher than normal.
So I dodged death, this would be the second time in my life.
It took me some convincing to go and get checked. The doctor asks me procedural questions.. for someone who has been in a vehicular accident (I presume this), I mention new pain that I am now feeling on my back and right side of my ribs, and show him the bruises on my knees and legs that were now a deep black purple with red dots, some clotting was noted, but can be treated with warm/ cold compress. Then, I wait for the xrays (head and ribs), and finally the prescription - pain killers, the only part I was looking forward to. (Anyway, the xrays came out fine, I am going to live with no complications). So I go home, and come close to bed time take the pain killers, I was about to jump into bed when I just couldn't help but feel annoyed with the itching that started on my scalp, my chest, my tummy, and then legs. I started thinking, damn bugs, I turn on the lights and I check the mirror - and so, yes, rashes all over. I suspect an allergy, and take an anti-histamine, I walk around the living room and check the mirror every few minutes. The pill I popped did not help, this time I was thinking - seriously death is trying to tell me something, but I brush it aside, I honestly could not care less. I dressed up and took myself to the hospital to get injected with an epinephrine, this time my throat felt constricted and as I lay down on the hospital bed I could feel my body going to sleep but I willed my mind to stay awake because I actually started to feel nervous about the breating problem, until the doctor finally allowed me to go home. So I got home, and drowsy as hell I managed to change my bedding and pillow cases. Funny thought came to mind, I feel like a cat now. 3 lives down, 6 more to go?
Current Tuneage: Carla Bruni - Quelqu' un m'a dit
I face death in the form of the nose of a car just right outside my window. There was no panic, just calm thinking and a rushed feeling of sadness. As I was jolted to the left side of the car I thought of how pathetic it was to go through the accident alone, and that it was only a few days to when I'd get to finally be with someone from 9 years ago. At this moment, I don't know if I just accepted it, or couldn't. I am only saying this, because of how I am assessing that sudden rush of sadness, maybe unknowingly it was me saying, "no, it is not the time yet, damn it"
The car screeched, there was a loud thump, and the car jutted forecefully foreward, I bumped my head on the window and slammed my legs and knees on some other hard part of the car, the flooring, or that middle partition with the handbreak. Then a full stop. I helped myself back to a sitting position, put my hand on my head, checked me hand- no blood, good. Then I tell the driver, "ang sakit naman nun kuya" (that hurt big brother) and then I remained silent, by this time the shock kicked in. There was some bickering in the background that I was not paying attention to, I was looking outside but I wasn't really looking at anything, nor was I even thinking at all, there was nothing. Reality kicked in when the words of the driver were audible and being processed by my shaken brain, "my passenger may not even be able to walk", he said. I looked outside the door that was now wide open, and I lifted my backpack and stepped out of the car. I seemed fine, so then I told the guards that the other driver was at fault and his goddamned car was face to face with me when I last saw it. I pointed to the shattered tail lights of the car.
At this time I was contemplating on whether to join their argument and come up with a new one that would be problematic for them - I need to be taken to a hospital, get my head checked, my ribs checked, whatever else needed to be checked. I pace forward a little and then back, this time the guards ask for my name and the address of my office, I was happy to give it to them and by that time I had decided. The pain was tolerable, I had bumped my had harder than this on hard steel where I thought I saw stars for a moment, and I could actually walk. So, I just left them arguing and walked to the office, what's the point anyway, I have insurance that I could use. And yes, my tolerance for pain is just higher than normal.
So I dodged death, this would be the second time in my life.
It took me some convincing to go and get checked. The doctor asks me procedural questions.. for someone who has been in a vehicular accident (I presume this), I mention new pain that I am now feeling on my back and right side of my ribs, and show him the bruises on my knees and legs that were now a deep black purple with red dots, some clotting was noted, but can be treated with warm/ cold compress. Then, I wait for the xrays (head and ribs), and finally the prescription - pain killers, the only part I was looking forward to. (Anyway, the xrays came out fine, I am going to live with no complications). So I go home, and come close to bed time take the pain killers, I was about to jump into bed when I just couldn't help but feel annoyed with the itching that started on my scalp, my chest, my tummy, and then legs. I started thinking, damn bugs, I turn on the lights and I check the mirror - and so, yes, rashes all over. I suspect an allergy, and take an anti-histamine, I walk around the living room and check the mirror every few minutes. The pill I popped did not help, this time I was thinking - seriously death is trying to tell me something, but I brush it aside, I honestly could not care less. I dressed up and took myself to the hospital to get injected with an epinephrine, this time my throat felt constricted and as I lay down on the hospital bed I could feel my body going to sleep but I willed my mind to stay awake because I actually started to feel nervous about the breating problem, until the doctor finally allowed me to go home. So I got home, and drowsy as hell I managed to change my bedding and pillow cases. Funny thought came to mind, I feel like a cat now. 3 lives down, 6 more to go?
Current Tuneage: Carla Bruni - Quelqu' un m'a dit
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